Texts From Last Night · GetOffMyLawn's Favorites

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GetOffMyLawn's Favorites Texts:

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.

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(817): View more from Texas

He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.

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(210): View more from Texas

"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.

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(407): View more from Florida

Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way

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TextsFromLastNight.com

GetOffMyLawn's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

(973): View more from New Jersey

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

(817): View more from Texas

(210): View more from Texas

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

(303): View more from Colorado

(619): View more from California

(410): View more from Maryland

(1-410): View more from Maryland

(845): View more from New York

(850): View more from Florida

(407): View more from Florida

(605): View more from South Dakota

(813): View more from Florida

(1-813): View more from Florida

(813): View more from Florida

(719): View more from Colorado

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

(303): View more from Colorado

(845): View more from New York

(519): View more from Ontario

(802): View more from Vermont

(330): View more from Ohio

(314): View more from Missouri

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(303): View more from Colorado

(401): View more from Rhode Island

(228): View more from Mississippi

(703): View more from Virginia

(615): View more from Tennessee

(323): View more from California

GetOffMyLawn's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

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