I once put a clementine inside my girlfriend. It got stuck. She tried to push it out and it wouldn't come out. I had to finally get her to push while I jammed a finger through the peel, and hook it out. In pieces. Was damn near to a partial birth abortion.
Am I the only one who read this as "EATING candy hearts from a woman's vagina"? 'Cause getting paid to do that, enough to buy a Mercedes, would have been pretty okay, all things considered.
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