He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
