Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
