Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
