just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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