theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
high people should be assigned attendants
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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