So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
