dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
