That's intense
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
