i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
