The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
