i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
