with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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