I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
