She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
