you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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