he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
