i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
