I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
whose parrot is this?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
