i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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