YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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