when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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