Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
