Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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