Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
