i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
