Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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