I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
