we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
