Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
