Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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