Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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