You're completely useless in the revolution.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
