And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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