Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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