I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
