i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
