Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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