hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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