I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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