Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The air was thick with penises
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
