I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
