we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize