Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
