Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
