chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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