Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
