but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
