I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
