Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
