I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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